среда, 29 июля 2009 г.

La trahison virtuelle – la gaminerie ou le malheur ?

La trahison à la trahison le désaccord – dira quelqu'un. Se trouvera est injuste. On peut appeler la trahison comme l'amusement facile, l'intérêt stupide, et il est peu important, elle réel ou virtuel – ses conséquences sont toujours identiques …

Depuis que la toile WWW nous a enroulé solidement par les palpes, la personne rare n'est pas tombée victime de la curiosité personnelle. Les forums, les chats, les sites des connaissances, les blogs et cetera ouvrent devant nous le monde auparavant inconnu des relations virtuelles. Ici il t'est facultatif d'être même – tu essaies les images étrangères, chez toi le nouveau nom, et voici toi – déjà non toi.





D'une part, cela même bien – pour nous-mêmes nous retirons les barrières psychologiques et nous essayons de communiquer ainsi qu'à la vie cela avec personne nous ne réussissait pas. Il ne faut pas instantanément choisir les mots, il y a un temps penser, "lécher" une idée de quelqu'un, et ensuite la donner pour. Est content lui-même à l'excès. Ici personne ne verra les boutons sur ta personne ou la diction odieuse, ne fera pas une grimace de ta voix désagréable. Toi – le fantôme, l'homme invisible, les superéchanges, seksi-ladies, стерва avec le stage de plusieurs années ou la nimfetka-séductrice. Tu crées lui-même, comme un petit dieu. Ton monde est créé, est venu le temps agir.





Nous allons sur le site des connaissances. Mon Dieu, quel riche choix! Avec la langue mise dehors vous commencez en tremblant et est avide examiner les formes étrangères appétissantes et les photos sincères. Comme au jour de marché, ici sur les comptoirs il y a tout, prends – je ne veux pas. Et en outre absolument gratuitement! Mais pour goûter, il faut devenir le membre de ce collectif uni, autrement on pourra regarder "la devanture" seulement de loin. La main dure vers le bouton intime "l'enregistrement" et tout, le mécanisme est lancé.



Après le travail minutieux sur le questionnaire vous ou attendez que quelqu'un sur elle "becquètera", ou allez à l'arrivée. Dernier – le privilège des hommes, d'ailleurs, des autres individus courageux ne dédaignent pas ce privilège feminine. Commence ensuite la dépendance. Chaque matin nous courons contrôler электронку. Sur! Le coeur se bat avec rage – vous la lettre! Et ainsi le jour après le jour, le mois après le mois. Changent les personnages, prend les chiffres d'affaires la passion.






Tous, qui se trouve à côté de vous – la femme, les maris, les amies et aimé, partent avec le temps sur le deuxième plan. Leurs qualités se ternissent, mais la présence des familiers jusqu'à votre vie devient quelque chose habituel et ennuyeux. Maintenant le feu des passions flambe à l'arène étrangère, où vous – un gladiateur principal et invincible, le bourreau des coeurs et le manipulateur des destins. À vrai dire, parfois vous devez vous arracher à la vie virtuelle et revenir au monde réel. La conscience encore donne parfois les signes de la vie, mais avec chaque fois il y a plus de. Tôt ou tard le dénouement arrive.





À l'avis des psychologues, le flirt virtuel selon Internet ne se distingue pas par rien de la vraie trahison. Dans le sondage passé par les collaborateurs de l'université Kuins à Belfast, participaient 245 étudiants. Aux participants de l'expérience était proposé de terminer l'histoire des paire, dans laquelle un des partenaires avait le lien virtuel dans Internet. Les investigateurs tentaient de comprendre, comment les étudiants interprètent «le flirt électronique».



Il se trouva que 51 % des participants de l'expérience trouvent comme sa trahison, mais 84 % ont accepté que le deuxième partenaire se sentira absolument par le trahi. Les experts affirment que le lien virtuel sur la partie peut menacer aux relations réelles des gens. La passion émotionnelle même sans contact physique peut sérieusement se faire sentir les relations entre les gens.





Selon les résultats du sondage, la femme perçoivent plus douloureusement une telle trahison extraordinaire, que les hommes. Les recherches du flirt dans Internet peuvent être aussi le symptôme déjà les problèmes existant. Aux gens il est plus facile de justifier, probablement, le flirt selon Internet, mais les conséquences peuvent être aussi sérieuses, comme à la situation avec la vraie trahison : la perte de la confiance, l'offense et la douleur. Et si de la partie il vous semble c'est peu dangereux, essayez virtuellement changer. Cela pas du tout l'appel, упаси vous le Dieu mettre le doigt là-bas, où vous risquez de vous trouver sans main. Non par tout est fait à temps s'arrêter, mais le nombre des destins détruits par rien n'est pas justifié.





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понедельник, 27 июля 2009 г.

How correctly to love?

To love is does not mean to look against each other, to love – means together to look in one direction.
Antoine de Sent-Ekzjuperi.
You, know, misters, lately there were some publications on the Love theme... Love – one of the strong feelings in our life, causing the strongest emotions which correct our world. Our definitions will seem to you at first sight rough, well, God grant that to you never and fell nothing on a head in the form of fragments of castles in the air, only I will be glad. But if somebody has shared with me such knowledge at young age, I would be grateful, and so much errors would not do. Certainly, I too would apprehend this text in bayonets, but would not forget precisely. And facing these facts of life, at once would recollect, such things are not forgotten. Let this material will help at least to one person.
The love is when to you bothers to love itself alone, and you search for somebody … to love itself together...:-)

The love happens high and carnal.Love high – when you wish to enter sexual relations with the partner, attributing it such character traits which it actually does not possess, i.e. build round it "castles in the air". However, these locks fall in due course and fall to you on a head, causing moral and physical mutilations. Such love comes to an end usually badly.
The love carnal is when you also wish to enter sexual relations with the partner, but accept it in such kind as it is. Result of such love – satisfaction.
Do not forget! The woman dreams of love only, for the man it is a hindrance in affairs, a headache, dependence on "the brainless" woman. As it needs to battle to predators, and here on a way any "mouse" costs, time and forces takes away. Muzhiks are afraid of "love" as lines of an incense.

And to love it is necessary to be able. Yes only to it now anywhere do not learn. Usually favourite person "test". If loves, will forgive, and if forgives, here what I unusual. How women "test" the favourite? Do to it any meanness. It cannot eternally proceed, and sooner or later on change of such love hatred comes.

Change of the woman is when it enters sexual relations with other man. All children are identical to the woman. And she as a result of such communication can give birth to another's child to the husband, and it will raise another's posterity, refusing to itself pleasures, and its vital program remains outstanding. At change of the woman – concept "family" loses meaning.
And the man should have an illegal harem except the wife. If he begins to neglect it at it the false impotence to the wife will develop. It is necessary to bring constantly something new in sphere of sexual perception.Change of the man is when it leaves to other woman and carries away to it the piece of extraction. Usually in it the wife is guilty. It concerns successful men who earn a sufficient piece of extraction for the maintenance of the family... Earn more than can spend their wives.:-)

For example, the man goes every day to battle for a piece of extraction to other predators. In the evening, got tired and covered with wounds, he comes back home. And here his wife instead of helping it to lick wounds, snatches and starts it to gnaw, saw and scratch. As a result he goes into battle not had a rest in the morning. Also believe, there will be eventually such female who with it will lisp, and your husband will leave to it in the house and will start to carry there the piece of extraction, in the same place it not rugajut:-)
To love is means to create to the man conditions of a peace of mind and a house cosiness. Men (as well as all live beings) are lazy. Even if any female will twist before it attractive parts of a body, he will think … «That there will be with this lady – it is not known, and houses precisely well».
When at the man of the house comfort and the loving wife, it cannot be enticed from its den.Do not forget about it, loving women.
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How to keep romanticism in relations?

All relations begin as romantic. We cannot wait meetings, we hope, what exactly this person will love us all life, we write love messages, we surround our partner with love and attention... But time goes, and romanticism starts to disappear gradually from relations. It happens so often that already it is considered law. But whether it is correct? Whether it is pleasant to us, what we any more with such impatience wait for a meeting with the favourite? What we any more so are attentive to each other and we cease to do pleasant, what the sexual inclination vanishes?
Romanticism should not leave the relation so it is not put by the nature. When romanticism disappears is a signal of that our feelings start to weaken. We start to keep away from each other, we become the indifferent.


There are three principal causes of that we gradually grow cold under the relation to each other: disappointment, insult, perception of existence of other person as due.

Disappointment. People disappoint us from time to time, it not probably to avoid. At the very beginning of relations we erect our partner to a pedestal, we see in it only good. Eventually we learn the person more and more and we are disappointed in its any qualities. The disappointment leads to that we lose interest and we grow cold to our partner.

Insult. Happens that people take offence against each other. At one it occurs more often, at others is more rare. All depends on that, how much correctly people can build relations with each other. Outstanding promises can offend us. That has told can offend us or our partner has not told. That our requirements are not considered that have forgotten to wish us happy birthday or anniversary of wedding can offend us. The insult causes desire to become reserved.

Perception each other as due. Between you there are certain relations, probably, you are married. All difficult work on forming of relations is finished, and the centre of your attention moves on career, children, friends, a hobby... Whether After that there are your mutual relations former?

Hardly probable. As soon as you start to look at your partner as on something which are present as a piece of furniture in your life, you cause in it or in it insult and disappointment that leads to cooling of relations.

There are some ways to keep romantic relations.
  • Learn to see in your partner of the person with all its lacks, instead of idealise it. Be ready to inevitable disappointments and insults, learn to forgive. And the most important thing remember that the person offends and disappoints you not because does not love, that is why that the human nature is imperfect.
  • Do not hide from the partner of the negative emotions which have collected in you, insults, disappointments, necessity something to change. Speak on these themes, discuss problems together. After all only in dispute the true is born.
  • Speak to the partner as it is strong you it love, as though it there was last day in your life.
  • Constant physical contact also is necessary for long and healthy relations. Therefore if after some break you do not feel special desire to renew it, do not stop attempts, further you will feel what to go on contact begins easier and the desire will return to you.

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воскресенье, 19 июля 2009 г.

How to build relations in steam?

In love I am Michelangelo
In close relations we involuntarily "model" each other, like great Michelangelo, which cut from a marble piece all superfluous to find the ideal form. If the partner sees in me that ideal person whom I aspire to be (and many thinkers saw the main essence of love in it), and the behaviour supports my aspiration I really start to come nearer to the ideal. Naturally, my satisfaction a life and relations with the partner increases. And on the contrary: if sights of the partner at what I should be, do not coincide with mine and its actions do not promote my movement to wished satisfaction a life and mutual relations falls.



Keep the individuality
Let's do the small test. With what you see your relations today? Try to represent itself and the partner in the form of two crossed circles. Whether the crossing area is great? With other drawing would illustrate the answer to a question «What relations you wanted?». In the second case the majority of women is drawn by circles, almost (and sometimes and completely) imposed against each other: much do not have not enough care and attention.sfaction a life and mutual relations falls.


Partners always are surprised, having seen "reference" drawing of the psychologist – two circles crossed only on a quarter: the scheme of long relations looks so. Having lived some time together, enamoured can find out that they "were so arranged" the friend under the friend that have strongly changed личностно. Desire to adapt to the favourite person to make to it pleasant, to please quite often results the man or the woman in loss of own individuality. Often so-called «crisis of the third year of relations» is an attempt to return to itself, the habits and values, dialogue with the friends. Many have a desire to change work or to start to study. Sometimes it meets partner misunderstanding, causes cooling of feelings. Also it is one more occasion to quiet, detailed conversation: after all you once have involved with the individuality each other; there is no necessity to lose to keep relations.



Do not save anger
We often constrain anger, irritation, fury, being afraid that they will destroy our relations. But it is better to arrange good quarrel, than to raise in itself rancour and a sense of guilt. Strong emotions do not mean that two do not love each other any more, – they only inform on the problem which has arisen in relations. Each of us feels that he feels, and has on this just cause. The anger is good that directly calls things by their proper names. It it is similar to a thunder-storm after which air becomes purer.

Liberating the anger, understand, what exactly has caused it. Also try to tell about it, without passing to the person of the partner. If you steels the anger reason, have patience and listen to charges how listen to constructive criticism: with something agree, and with something – is not present. On the angered, reproaching person, as a rule, the quiet attention to a conversation theme well operates: «I seriously concern your feelings and I wish you to listen. We will try to talk easy...» But if reproaches are fair, for you – indemnification of the spoilt mood.



Learn to thank each other
Many steams live in expectation something большего and do not appreciate that occurs every day. It would Seem, than that is easier – to thank in reply to the shown participation, the help or the received gift. However this simple skill, and readiness to thank, somewhere disappear, when the pair starts to live together. Or simply it is impossible to open a mouth and to tell: «Thanks!», or words turn to a certain formal muttering or verbose texts in which the more words, the it is less than ourselves.

Not every day etymology of a word "thanks" (from initial «rescue God!») as though hints that it is a question not of a simple rule of politeness, but about something much more important, basic. This feeling name feeling of gratitude to a life. Without it the warmest words sound insincerely and formally. If the partner has guessed our secret desire, has made something pleasant, it is necessary simply to be able to tell: «It so is good!» – and relations will be stronger. Thank each other for concrete things – a gift, walk, careful gesture, instead of in general: «What you the darling!»


Be afraid of typical errors which bring to nothing the most sincere gratitude. So happens, when to simple «Thanks for flowers» are added type phrases: «I hope, you always so will do now» or «That you have not guessed earlier!» Rather mature and deepest relations is a love between people who from each other do not depend it is material, emotionally. They could live happily and separately, but these two so are interesting each other! The life has presented it chance – a meeting with the person from which, by and large, anything and it is not necessary but together with which the life becomes fuller. Let he simply lives nearby, remains such what is... And let to it will be as well, as well as me!

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The strong woman, whether strong … Easily is to it?

Lately even more often it is necessary to communicate with business the woman. A new class in Russia. And отроду to it hardly more than 10 years. And in leaders women strong-willed, able and incurring responsibility for a family, firm, the country were beat out. Whence scoop the force these fragile by nature creations? Why sometimes men in their society feel weak? Such metamorphosis whence undertook? When it is all has occurred?

Strong women were ALWAYS. A horse at full tilt will stop, into a burning log hut will enter is about such Nekrasov wrote once. Of them were afraid, respected, admired and even envied. And to it as? What for this gentle by nature creation incurs such heavy cargo? More often, sources in an ordinary instinct of self-preservation and preservation of the posterity. Has not carried to such woman with a strong man's shoulder. It was necessary to take all cargo for a family, for the children on itself. And it is frequent near to such "bomb" there is a man shy, irresolute, slightly infantile. And such steams live in peace also the consent.

Marina – the boss. At it the firm. Succeeding business. An eternal time trouble. To incur care of a family she has asked the husband. Once it was the basic supporter. Marina sat in the decree and suffered from consciousness of own otioseness. Children have grown up. The husband had middle age crisis. And strong Marina has made the decision – became the businessman. Business successfully enough developed. The husband at first deepened the internal crisis. And then, having understood that the weak link in a today's life is them with Marina a life, took it on itself. What remarkable pies began to wait business-vumen in the evenings! A well-groomed garden and a full refrigerator. And again in a shower have started singing birds. And the step has sufficed this woman and natural wisdom to lift authority of the father in the opinion of children. And again all were as equals. Harmony and mutual addition.

Whence they undertake - strong women? By those they are done by a life, a man's shoulder, which nearby. If you think that in a life it is necessary to pay for all - will always pay. If you think, what exactly you should drag on yourself all family cargo - will pull. And the small fragile woman turns in strong and assured. To which, however, support which gets tired of the force which too cries at a window too is necessary.

Perfectly I understand that all is far not at all strong women as smoothly. But! True force does without tyranny and without scandals. Force – therefore also force that it is wise, it from within. It is difficult to name strong the stinker or the intriguer, скандалистку or the hysteric woman. And here to take responsibility and to carry by it through all tests – great FORCE. I will believe to nobody that force and feminity are incompatible. Such women – magnets, it is impossible to forget them, to them devote legends, songs and verses. Internal force is a gift, it is huge energy of LOVE.

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