понедельник, 27 июля 2009 г.

How to keep romanticism in relations?

All relations begin as romantic. We cannot wait meetings, we hope, what exactly this person will love us all life, we write love messages, we surround our partner with love and attention... But time goes, and romanticism starts to disappear gradually from relations. It happens so often that already it is considered law. But whether it is correct? Whether it is pleasant to us, what we any more with such impatience wait for a meeting with the favourite? What we any more so are attentive to each other and we cease to do pleasant, what the sexual inclination vanishes?
Romanticism should not leave the relation so it is not put by the nature. When romanticism disappears is a signal of that our feelings start to weaken. We start to keep away from each other, we become the indifferent.

There are three principal causes of that we gradually grow cold under the relation to each other: disappointment, insult, perception of existence of other person as due.

Disappointment. People disappoint us from time to time, it not probably to avoid. At the very beginning of relations we erect our partner to a pedestal, we see in it only good. Eventually we learn the person more and more and we are disappointed in its any qualities. The disappointment leads to that we lose interest and we grow cold to our partner.

Insult. Happens that people take offence against each other. At one it occurs more often, at others is more rare. All depends on that, how much correctly people can build relations with each other. Outstanding promises can offend us. That has told can offend us or our partner has not told. That our requirements are not considered that have forgotten to wish us happy birthday or anniversary of wedding can offend us. The insult causes desire to become reserved.

Perception each other as due. Between you there are certain relations, probably, you are married. All difficult work on forming of relations is finished, and the centre of your attention moves on career, children, friends, a hobby... Whether After that there are your mutual relations former?

Hardly probable. As soon as you start to look at your partner as on something which are present as a piece of furniture in your life, you cause in it or in it insult and disappointment that leads to cooling of relations.

There are some ways to keep romantic relations.
  • Learn to see in your partner of the person with all its lacks, instead of idealise it. Be ready to inevitable disappointments and insults, learn to forgive. And the most important thing remember that the person offends and disappoints you not because does not love, that is why that the human nature is imperfect.
  • Do not hide from the partner of the negative emotions which have collected in you, insults, disappointments, necessity something to change. Speak on these themes, discuss problems together. After all only in dispute the true is born.
  • Speak to the partner as it is strong you it love, as though it there was last day in your life.
  • Constant physical contact also is necessary for long and healthy relations. Therefore if after some break you do not feel special desire to renew it, do not stop attempts, further you will feel what to go on contact begins easier and the desire will return to you.

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